Everyone has that one special time where he or she will remember for the rest of their lives. We often forget of it but usually are reminded by some happenings around us. I have a few with some of the most special people in my life.
The first was during my aunt’s wedding when I was 5. Back then, a kampung wedding such as of my aunt’s was treated more like a festival. I couldnt remember much of the three days except glimpses of everything. How the house was full of people, known and unknown. How the smell of pandan leaves mixed with 7 different flowers filled the air. Or how an ornamental flower girl dressed in sweets greeted my eyes on the platter from the groom.
There is something though that I could remember well. It was the night before the ceremonial dress up, and I had fallen asleep early while watching my aunt getting her henna on. It was past midnight when I woke up and the whole house was dark with a sea of people sleeping around the main hall. I felt uneasy as none whom I saw were the closest to me. I stood up and the sound of men yelling, “Nie telur nie maner nak letak?!” (Where to put these eggs!) were scaring me. I walked slowly passing the sleeping dolls, with tears beginning to fill up my eyes. I walked outside to the corridor where only a single light lit its boundary. Between the corridor and the back of the house was a long 2 metres away of darkness. It was the longest 2 metres of my life that I had to run to search for anyone familliar. Once there, I looked around but still no one I knew. I squatted crying….until, “Adik buat aper nie, asal belom tidor,” (Son what u doing, and why u not asleep), a familliar voice greeted me. It was my dad, who carried me and I slept on his shoulders feeling the warmth of safeness within me.
Next, about three months before a stroke took my mom back in 2003, I could remember so clearly how it felt to be loved by someone. It was early in the morning of about a quarter past nine. My mom was already a sickly person then but urged on to work. My class was in the afternoon that particular day. I was never a person of the bed, thus the floor of the main hall became my destiny that day. The house was already high dinned with my mom and dad talking of what to buy for dinner later, and my elder brother was playing his computer game. My mom came out of her room and sat near my head. She took her hands and brushed it against my hair, “Kesian anak mak, jaga diri, pandai-pandai belajar. Pergilah jalan kat luar exercise sikit.” (My son, how I pity u. Take care of urself, study hard. Go outsidelah and exercise a bit). Those were the last time where she talked to me with that touch. I miss her most…
Lastly, it was of my most recent soul setter. It was a rainy day, I was not feeling too well on that day. She called me saying that she was on the way to school. We talked a while, and as we talked, she found out that I was sick. Seeing my records, I am not easily sick but when I am, its serious. So while talking to me she alighted the bus and crossed the road and boarded the bus towards my house. I asked her, “U dah sampai,” (Are u there?) and she casually answered a ‘no’. We talked a little while more. and the next thing I knew she knocked on my door totally drenched. I smiled and shook my head on how stubborn she is. She kinda reminded me of someone in my past too. That total ignorance for my sake. I took her in while she asked me how was I doing. I went into the room to take my towel, and as I came out of the room, she had her veil off. That personal instinct told me to bring my eyes to the floor. I came closer to her and brought the towel over her head and folding it around her neck. Her eyes were so sweet. I will never forget it. We went to the kitchen and made for us a cup of coffee, while she inspected my newly renovated space. We had the coffee while the rained continued to pour, kind of helping us to welcome the hot cup of neso. After the rain claimed its time, we headed to my family GP. As we sat there, with me too sick to talk and she just nestling her head on my shoulder, she said, “U… I tak pernah rasa (I never felt) so special when a man touched me without touching me,” Confused I asked, ” Aper maksud u,” (What do u mean?) “Just now, u tak pandang I pon, tapi I rasa u ( u never even looked at me, but I felt u) respected me by not looking at my aurah.” To that I gave a smile.
And to these people, I miss em’ a lot. May Allah shine a light through their hearts, allowing them to love others, as they have loved me…. Just having a hope quite early in the morning.
“Forgive me Oh Allah and forgive them for they were a part of me.”
